I've never felt such a sense of security as when my life was
completely a P a r
Many concussions later
I'm having discussions like I'm an AA'er
cause I have problems AND my problems have cousins,
as to minimize this reprise,
I'm rhyming now AS I've been smoking weed
and drinking wine................
PART OF THIS DISEASE IS D
ASS O CIA T I O
That's why I can drink and smoke and claim I'm clean
In the meantime...
existing under a cloak of chemicals
and *takes a puff off a cigarette* "the perks I get from other folks"
I finally did it!
So why am I stoned AND why am I lit?!
ADDICTION IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF RHETORIC - It's like I'm listening to two arguments,
neither of which seem to reflect my own opinions
I SEE THEREFORE I AM NOT
I sat back and had a drink while the two of them fought.
I dug into the compartments of compartmentalization-
It wasn't until six drinks later
I had the dialogue going about how I'm better
See, having been clean three times last week
Seeps into my current,
see and I pat myself on the back
For having the self-control IT NEEDS
1. A king of a very important kingdom appoints you to the position of night watch. Your duty is to stay at the gate every waking hour and watch for a mythical sign to appear. It is important that you sleep during the day and remain alert during your shift. According to legend a comet to the east will flash red for exactly 2 seconds. If you miss the flash the kingdom is doomed, the people will die and earth will replenish itself. The comet can detect intoxication as well and will just pass you by if it senses you have been drinking at all.
2. You get hired to swallow swords on fire.
3. You have a bowel obstruction that is forcing you to shit out your mouth. Every time you try to take a drink, the shit and alcohol meet in your throat causing you to choke up liquid shit that quickly eats away at your esophagal lining.
4. You are over-hydrated (Very dangerous!)
5. Room Raiders, the MTV show, alerts you that they will be doing an expose by taking a black light to your bedroom sometime in the next year at a spontaneous time.
6. It's the future. Alcohol has been outlawed in the new prohibition amendment of 2042. There is to be an execution tomorrow for everyone who is extracted from their home that tests positive for even .01%. Everyone will be tested.
7. News flash: the DABC has been notified that terrorists have hijacked hundreds of thousands of cases of alcoholic beverages and dissolved trace amounts of Anthrax in them. Every drink is now a dangerous game of roulette.
8. It is discovered that for every drink that disappears, a monkey dies.
9. You are literally on fire.
10. Every time you drink you're an asshole.