I'm a bi-sexual man in my late 60's, an eccentric, who is looking for a man or a woman that wants to get back to some vintage kinks. Remember when we used to play a good game of corn horn? Or dingle dongle with a side of butt chips...that was great fun! What about old man dingle stix, raw potato breath or honeycomb butt shooters. I know, compared to what the kids are doing now this is all very mild, but it used to work for us so why wouldn't it now? Even just for nostalgia sake.
Some of the new positions are straight up intimidating: The Mannheimen Steamroller, Cleveland dumps, Screwnicorn's, Duck Dy-Nasty's. I don't even have the agility or strength to perform some of these. Last time I had an orgy, I had to hold a diagram I'd printed from the net and even then...hours later...couldn't figure it out and we all ended up watching old Jeopardy reruns and eating Pizza rolls.
If you are interested in playing antique roadshow, sex position edition, give me a ring. Oh, yeah, don't have landlines anymore...send me a text.